Assessing school-induced
stomach aches: Are they real?
"Sam, do you really have a
tummy ache?"
Does your child appear to have
a school-induced stomach ache? Or, is he or she actually ill? Perhaps your
child seems fine, until you mention the word school. Suddenly, he or she
complains of a tummy ache and begins to point to his or her abdomen. As a
parent, you look at your child skeptically. He or she may not be old enough to
tell you what is happening.
How can you know if this is a
school-induced stomach ache? What should you do, if you think that this may be
a school related problem or a school related phobia?
As a caring, concerned and
compassionate parent, take your child's complaints seriously, while you assess
his or her health status to find out if there are any physical or health
related problems. Do not shame or humiliate your child. Give him or her the
benefit of the doubt.
Talk to your child in a gentle,
loving and kind manner, because he or she may actually be ill. For instance,
your child may be in the early stages of diarrhea and vomiting. He or she may
be starting to show flu like symptoms, like a headache, sore throat or fever.
If you realize that your child really is ill, it may be wise to take him or her
to a doctor. You may want to rule out the H1N1 flu virus or other possible medical problems. If your child's tummy ache,
abdominal discomfort or pain appears to be getting worse, it is a good idea to
take him or her to the emergency unit, at the nearest hospital. He or she may be
developing symptoms of appendicitis, evidenced by sharp pain in the right,
lower quadrant of his or her abdomen.
Be aware that there are
numerous, non-school related reasons why your child may complain of having a
stomachache. These can include the following:: hunger, improper diet, too many
sweets, baked goods, fast foods or highly processed foods, allergies to
specific food or fluids, over indulgence or tainted food.
Once you have ruled out
health-related or physical causes of your child's stomach ache, begin to look
for other, school-related factors, particularly if this is something that
appears to be happening on a regular basis.
How does a school-related
stomach ache manifest itself?
Your child may refuse to get
out of bed, if he or she does not want to go to school. He or she may refuse
food and fluids. Does he or she appear tense, pale or anxious? He or she may
state that his or her tummy hurts or aches. He or she may seem nervous, cry or
show evidence of nausea that could result in vomiting, if he or she is upset.
These can be symptomatic of fear if your child may be experiencing fear,
associated with attending school. Be aware that extreme fear can trigger a
stomachache or a panic attack that manifests itself with other symptoms, including
a stomachache.
Do you think that your child
may be afraid to go to school? Has he or she voiced these kinds of concern
previously or is this the first time? Are there other factors involved? Maybe
your child does not like his or her haircut or clothing and does not want to be
made fun of, by the other children. There may be more serious concerns. For
instance, are you aware of your child being subjected to any kind of
abuse, by anyone at school? How about when your child has been walking to and
from school or on the school bus?
Perhaps this is your child's
first day at school or at a new school?
"Children often experience
anxiety before beginning something new. When this involves separation from
parents and the familiar, the phenomenon known as "separation
anxiety" may be involved. Separation anxiety is often accompanied by overt
expressions of distress, such as shouting, fighting and crying." (1)
Other psychological factors may
be involved. Sometimes, these can be recognized and resolved immediately, but
it may take time for you to figure out what your child is afraid of, with
respect to going to school. Be aware that your child may not even know what he
or she is afraid of. Perhaps your child is ashamed of something? He or she may
be fearful of being punished for telling you the truth, particularly if he or
she is in trouble at school or has done something wrong.
Honesty and trust are important
factors in parent-child relationships. If you have already established that
kind of a relationship with your child, he or she will be more than
willing to confide in you, as long as he does not feel intimidated, threatened
or coerced.
The majority of healthy
children enjoy going to school, even though they protest now and then. They
look forward to school and are excited about various projects in which they
are involved. But, on the other hand, there are days when any child may not
want to go to school because of specific, stress related issues or concerns.
These may involve teachers, other children, school projects or school bus
problems. Sometimes this has to do with the parent's expectations. Maybe you
remember having some issues and concerns like that, as a child? Every child experiences
them, at one time or another.
Reward, with regard to going to
school, works better than punishment, particularly on a long term basis. Be
cautious with respect to what behaviors you re-enforce though, as these may
become repeated patterns of behavior, over time. In other words, if you reward
your child's tummy ache behavior with ice cream, when he or she does not really
have a tummy ache, he or she may learn to use this as an excuse to get this
kind of attention from you again, on a regular basis. Instead, try to get the
child to focus on something else. Reward good behaviors, but not necessarily
with food.
When a child feels safe and
secure, regardless of his or her age, he or she will be able to deal with
different kinds of situations that may arise at school or on the way to and
from school. Knowing that he or she can go to teachers, guidance counselors or
the school principal will help to re-enforce his or her feelings of safety.
Children should know that they can go to school bus drivers, crossing guards,
security guards, teacher's helpers, as well as older siblings and children assigned to help the little ones, when necessary.
Your judgment and the way you
treat and respond to your child's complaint of a tummy ache, will help to
determine his or her future behavior in that regard, at least to some extent.
Remember that children are unpredictable and your child may be testing you, as a
parent. For example, perhaps you are anxious about your child going to school,
for some reason and it is reflected by what you say or do. To relieve your
parental anxiety, he or she may choose to stay at home, thereby resolving the issue of
concern, at least for the moment.
Take time to speak with your
child's teacher or principal, as there may be things happening at school that
you are not aware of. Make an appointment to speak with a child psychologist,
if this pattern of behavior continues, for any length of time. There may be family
related issues that need to be dealt with. Sometimes, it is a good idea to keep
records of your child's behavior with respect to not wanting to attend school.
Your child is probably
perfectly normal and healthy, in most instances, but be aware that you need to
be alert to any problems that may affect his or her school life. School-induced
tummy aches can feel real to a child, even if they are not real to you or
others. Getting to the bottom of them, as soon as possible, is important for
your child's health and happiness.
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